Given by Aunt Brenda... she bought these lovelies during her month long trip to Europe... WOW! ;)
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| permalink Well, The Simpsons Movie wasn't exactly great though. The jokes were lame and stale and also silly! Most of the parts were quite boring too. The only moment I enjoyed in the movie was the part where the bartender and his patrons were watching the news on TV and then the electricity got cut off and when he turned it back on, his patrons were gone without paying for their drinks and also all his booze from the shelves were gone as well! And then the bartender said that it wasn't funny and that he would switched off the lights and when he switched them back on again, he would wanna see all his booze back on the shelves. And when he eventually did switch the lights on again, not only did his bottles of booze were still missing, his TV, his clothes and his bar were all gone as well! Muahahahaha! I laughed the hardest for that! :P It was wayyyy too funny! =)
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| permalink Got this towel rack from Ikea a few days back for Kevin to hang his towel and I nailed it to the wall all by myself in Kev's room in the rented No. 38 Jalan USJ2/2L! :) I already have my own towel rack by the door.
| permalink Yay!!! My Samsung 37" LCD TV is finally here!!! After 2 weeks of agonized waiting, it's finally here! It arrived approximately 9.45pm on July 20th, 2007! Phew!!! Then Esther and I packed up the old speakers and amplifier and TV and cleaned up the space and plugged in the new TV. I feel happy! I'm just so pleased! It was all worth it! The TV's just simply magnificent and beautiful! Dad saw the TV too via webcam (he was chatting with mom earlier). Bought the Samsung TV from MBF credit card (they have a promotion now). The original price of the 37" is actually RM5,400 but I bought it for only RM3,900 and I get to pay only RM100 per month for 39 months (0% interest installment plan) via my MBF credit card. Fabulous or what? :) Sharon also recently bought a Samsung LCD TV but it's only 32" but it already cost her RM3000++ (she bought it from Courts Mammoth where she'll pay in installments over a period of time but with interest charged). So when I saw the MBF promotional price for the 37" and I made the comparison to Sharon's TV price, instantly I knew that the MBF deal was to die for! :P Esther and I unpacked the TV from its huge box and installed it ourselves. We plugged in our Astro, DVD and VCR players and got them working perfectly. We even tuned and programmed our TV channels, and named them personally. We're self-made TV technicians now, haha! Now it rests in the living room at my house. I know my parents are real excited about it. I am! God bless! :) We got da TV outta its box! The before... Goodbye to our old faithful - the 20" Panasonic CRT screen TV Vibrant colors & clarity of the LCD TV Euphoric me posing with my new TV The after... Hello Samsung 37" LCD TV Super slim TV The wiring all done up by Esther and moi! The label
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| permalink After our brunch, we decided to walk around since the rice ball place was very near the Stadhuys and Famosa area. The rice balls were very tasty (in my opinion, haha but not necessarily in Kevin's) but the chicken in that shop were lousy!!! The chicken were like shredded and in messy chops as if the meat was rotten. I really didn't enjoy the brunch at all! But Kevin and I were very hungry, so what gives? :P An old train, I think, can't really tell! Kevin looking real chic with the umbrella and the hand on his waist (color-coded too!) on the way up to St. Paul's church That's St. Paul's church and its statue on the far left The view from St. Paul's church overlooking the Strait of Malacca and some reclaimed land Kevin doing some reading at St. Paul's church The side of St. Paul's church (and that's the statue on the far right) The ancient concrete tablets inside the church The staircase leading to the A'Famosa fort My shadow! Aha! Found it! That's the back of the A'Famosa fort! Kevin posing at the front of the fort Posing with the cannon On the way back to the car, I took a proper shot of the Stadhuys (this time with the church in view) Hotel with a view! Hotel Puri with lovely windows (same jalan as The Baba House) Ooo... cool, refreshing Tiger beer to cool off the afternoon heat?? No wayyyy!! I can't drink, really! It was juz a cool, refreshing glass of orange juice served in a tall Tiger glass A stage built in Jonker walk. Probably there'll be some performance at night We bumped into Mie Mie in Jonker Walk and she invited us to her house later that night. So we went and met up with the rest of Kev's friends like Lulu and Mui Ling. After chatting with them for an hour or so, Kev and I decided to head on back to the hotel but not before stopping by a food stall nearby the hotel for supper. Could you believe it that I actually finished two plates of balitong all by myself?! Well, believe it cuz I did! I was crazy craving for balitong! :P The radiant bride, Mie Mie I'm still waiting for the rest of Mie Mie's wedding pics from Mui Ling and Roti Kev and I on the church bench We switched places so that Kevin would be closer to his friends on the bench for chitchat/gossiping purposes A pic of the church benches before they were filled up Lovely hot tea for brekkie The rice balls Kevin woke up looking like this! So hilarious and cute! He was laughing at the TV and I was laughing at his hair! :P All ready for MieMie's wedding dinner My digicam ran outta batt some time around before the wedding dinner and I didn't bring the charger. So I guess I just have to wait for Roti's pics instead. After the dinner, Roti and us went back to the hotel to change into casual clothes to join Wan Ling (Roti's friend) and her friends at a backlane stall selling steamed clams and mussels which tasted quite good! ;) Kevin & I stopped by at one of the pitstops along the way back to KL. It was the pitstop that I'd alwiz wondered what it was cuz the signboard was like showing pine trees on a hill. So we stopped & climbed the high steps till we reached the top and when we did, we were outta breath already and there was nothing up there. No great view either :P
8 Hair Mistakes You May Be Making
Find out if you're guilty, then rinse, repeat -- and repent...
Always Fastening Your Ponytail in the Same SpotBecause strands tend to get caught — and broken — in bands, it's a good idea to alternate the fastening point. "Move it up a half inch one day, then down the next," says celebrity stylist Richard Marin. Using seamless elastic bands, like Goody Ouchless Elastics, will further minimize damage.
Combing Wet Hair from Roots to EndsA comb is easier on fragile wet hair than a brush is, but tugging it from scalp to tips can cause breakage. First, smooth out knots with a leave-in detangler. Then, says Marin, start to comb at ends, working up in sections.Brushing Your Hair for Shine
All you need is a few strokes to style hair and spread the natural oils from roots to ends. "Anything more than that is unnecessary friction, which can lead to breakage," says Amy J. McMichael, M.D., an associate professor of dermatology at Wake Forest University School of Medicine, in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.Blow-Drying Hair That's Dripping Wet
Not only will this make it difficult to style your hair, it will cause a ton of heat damage. "A blow dryer should be used on damp — not wet — hair for 20 minutes, tops," says stylist Peter Coppola, creator of a QVC hair-care line. Before applying heat, wrap hair in a towel for five minutes, then let hair air-dry for another five.Ignoring Your Scalp
To grow healthy hair, your scalp needs nourishment. "Massaging your head with your fingertips will stimulate blood flow," says Christopher Mackin, a trichologist (hair expert) at the Gil Ferrer Salon, in New York City. For extra care, use a leave-in scalp treatment.
Using the Wrong Brush
The incorrect brush can not only ruin your style, it can get snagged in your hair. Generally, the longer your locks, the larger in diameter your brush should be (basically, more hair, more brush). To create volume, use a round brush; to smooth hair, a paddle shape is best.Avoiding Hair Spray
It's gotten a bad rap, but hair spray contains a polymer that actually locks out humidity, says Cheri McMaster, senior scientist for Pantene. And contrary to popular belief, it's not harmful. "It's the polymer, not the alcohol, that dries on your hair," she says. "The alcohol evaporates before it hits your head." Use just enough to hold your style.
Masking — Not Treating — Dandruff
Trying to nix flakes with moisturizing stylers like oils and pomades is only a temporary fix: Dandruff is actually an inflammatory scalp disease unrelated to dryness, says Dr. McMichael. The cure? A shampoo with salicylic acid, zinc, selenium sulfide or tar to eliminate flakes.
Reprinted with permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.
Thursday, July 26, 2007 ~ 11:07 PM
50 Ways to Celebrate Being Young, Free & Fabulous!
1. Shop
2. Get a credit card
3. Buy a new handbag
4. Learn to drive
5. Go sunbathing in a bikini
6. Talk to strangers
7. Spend YOUR money, win YOUR prizes
8. Get a manicure
9. Write yourself a letter
10. Get spiritual
11. Sleep in until noon
12. Bury all your hatchets
13. Plant a tree
14. Plant it forward
15. Eat a cake
16. Go skinny dipping
17. Visit a nice spa
18. Start a blog
19. Date a musician
20. Open a trust fund account
21. Get sloshes
22. Learn a new language
23. Fast, but don't starve
24. Learn to cook
25. Have sex
26. Get a makeover
27. Call your ex(es)
28. Give away your old school books
29. Multi-date
30. Get your own place
31. Go to a party
32. Get some bling
33. Get some bling down south
34. Be an SPG for one night
35. Throw a party
36. Buy your parents a pressie
37. Start a business
38. spend a full day with a camera
39. Give away your old clothes
40. Stay up all night on a weekday
41. Bleach your hair
42. Get some (real) lingerie
43. Pierce your _____
44. Go on a holiday
45. Start a diary
46. Go for a movie marathon
47. Paint a self-portrait
48. Visit IKEA
49. Have a baby
50. Get married
By Samantha Lee (Cleo Magazine August 2007 issue)
Tuesday, July 24, 2007 ~ 11:54 PM
The Simpsons Movie
Won 4 free passes from FlyFM to watch The Simpsons Movie earlier tonight at GSC 1Utama at 9pm. However, I needed to collect those passes at 8pm onwards. Since Kevin's working and Esther didn't wanna go (she needed to wake up early for classes the next day), I asked Sharon and Shyang Li to go (since I'd not seen Shyang Li for the longest time). I picked Shyang Li up from her office and went to Sharon's house. Shyang Li bathed and changed her clothes there. After that, we went for a quick dinner in New Paris (well, we all reached New Paris at 7.05pm and the food arrived at 7.10pm and we finished eating by 7.30pm. Fast or what?) My bro-in-law, Stuart, didn't wanna watch cartoons so Sharon asked her ex, Chin Chee Kit, to come watch with us instead. Well, I don't blame Stuart though, I'm not a big fan of animated movies either and especially not The Simpsons cuz I've not watched a single episode of it before on TV. Haha! Only snippets of a particular episode where Homer had to protect the President of USA and he ate the President's steak juz to see if the steak was poisoned by the enemies. Haha! That was all! I didn't even finish that episode :P
After the movie, Chee Kit went back on his own. We went back to ss2 to yum char in the mamak. After that, Sharon drove back to her house and I took my car and dropped Shyang Li back to her house in Taman Paramount (very nearby ss2 only). And got back to Kev's place to type out this very entry. Nights y'all!
Maintaining a healthy lifestyle
I watched Oprah a few days ago with my mom on my new TV and she spoke about maintaining a healthy lifestyle through a healthy diet and proper exercise. Here was what her guest of the day proposed...
Ingredients (in a food) to avoid:
1. Saturated fat (unsaturated fat is the way to go!)
2. Sugar
3. Hydrogenated oil
4. High protein corn syrup
5. Bleached flour
6. Enriched flour
And combine with the exercises listed below...
The "Fantastic Four" exercise (as how her guest had put it):
1. Walk - about 10,000 steps per day
2. Strength training - weight lifting and build muscles
3. Cardio - 60 mins a week
4. Stretch - 5 mins a day (especially in the morning)
And then we're off to a healthy lifestyle! Hip hip hurray! ;)
Monday, July 23, 2007 ~ 8:26 PM
Can this marriage be saved?
"He Never Comes Through for Me"
By Cynthia Hanson
Her Turn
"I can't rely on Tom for anything," said Sara, 36, a director of career planning at a college in southeastern Virginia, where she lives with her husband of nine years. "Whether it's cutting the lawn, booking a hotel, or getting the cars inspected, he makes nothing but empty promises. And he rarely completes a project, even though he's extremely handy. Eight months ago he decided to reupholster the dining-room chairs; he's halfway done, and the fabric and staple gun are still sitting on the table. Whenever I complain about his poor follow-through, Tom, a high school math teacher, says I'm making a mountain out of a molehill and offers his usual lame excuses: 'I ran out of time' or 'I got too tired.' With the chairs, Tom claims that he didn't want to disturb the paperwork I'd been doing on the table. Yes, I had some files there, but the chairs are separate from the table! He could have moved them into the kitchen. "The problem is now reaching a crisis point because we're in the process of adopting a baby girl from Russia, whom we're going to name Rebecca. We decided a few years ago to adopt rather than have a biological child. I had no urge to be pregnant and Tom didn't feel compelled to pass on his genes. We'd rather give a good home to a child who otherwise wouldn't have one. But I've begun to question how good a home that will be. I'm not sure I can count on Tom to be a responsible father. My disappointment in him has made me withdraw. At the end of the day, he wants to talk and watch TV together, but I'd rather go upstairs and read. I've also lost interest in sex, mostly because he's gained 25 pounds and I no longer find him attractive. Besides, he often falls asleep in front of the TV and comes to bed at 3 a.m. -- hardly a time for romance. So, as the adoption day draws near, I've become increasingly anxious about our future.
"I grew up in a small town, the elder child of an accountant and a librarian. From the time I was young I felt pressure to excel in everything, because Mom derived so much satisfaction from my successes. She'd gush and beam if I made the cheerleading squad or first-chair flute in the school orchestra. I was in junior high when she said, 'I'm glad you're popular; I don't know what I'd do if you weren't,' and that statement guided me until college. I did whatever I could to please Mom, including sticking with the flute even though I wanted to quit at 16. Overall, though, my childhood was comfortable. Mom and Dad were teen sweethearts who never argued; they just celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary. "After college I taught history at a high school in rural Appalachia. It turned out that I liked advising students more than I liked teaching, so I decided to go to graduate school to become a guidance counselor. Tom was a fellow student. I spotted him in the dining hall and was drawn to his boyish good looks. A few weeks later he struck up a conversation at the salad bar. We had so much in common: We'd both taught in rural schools, sang in our church choirs, and enjoyed biking. I also liked his shy, unassuming demeanor.
"But after a month of eating together and talking on the phone Tom hadn't asked me on a real date. Finally I teasingly asked him, 'Are you going to invite me to the holiday dance, or do I have to invite you?' Blushing, he promptly asked me to be his date."
"We fell in love that night""Slow dancing together a few weeks later, Tom looked into my eyes and said, 'I don't want to ever let go.' We both agree that we fell in love that night. Tom had everything I wanted in a husband: intelligence, sensitivity and, seemingly, a strong work ethic -- he was putting himself through graduate school with scholarships and a part-time job at a bookstore. We got married after he'd completed his master's degree; I still had a year to go. While I finished my thesis, he substitute taught and worked in a bookstore. Newlywed life was hectic but mostly happy. It wasn't until my final semester that Tom's passive side surfaced. We'd agreed to move to his hometown, so I figured he'd use his connections to pave the way. But Tom just waited for job leads to come through the university's career development office, and there weren't many. I was worried about money. Late one night, as I wrote cover letters and he watched reruns on cable, I told him how disappointed I was. 'You're not the man I thought you were,' I said. 'It looks like I'll have to take care of you.' I felt guilty the moment I said it, but he just shot me a dirty look and changed the channel.
"After I found a job I asked my new boss if she knew of any openings for math teachers. She reviewed Tom's resume and helped him land six interviews. Ultimately, Tom found a position at a top public high school, where he still works. "I soon discovered Tom wasn't an equal partner on the home front, either. We supposedly divide the chores, and Tom is in charge of the lawn, house repairs, taking out the trash, and car maintenance. But he either waits until the last minute -- the kitchen trash can overflows before he dumps it in the garbage bin outside -- or won't do the chores unless I nag. A few times, when our front lawn looked like a jungle, I came home from work to find a neighbor cutting it! I was unbelievably humiliated, but Tom just shrugged and told me I was overreacting.
"Last month, before I left for a three-week business trip, I asked Tom to pay the bills, do laundry, and keep the house neat. He assured me that he would. Unfortunately, I came home to find unpaid bills strewn across the kitchen counter, dirty laundry on the bedroom floor, and filthy dishes in the sink. But worst of all, he hadn't mailed the adoption paperwork, which I'd asked him to do. I had finalized everything before I left; we were waiting only for a copy of my birth certificate, which was to be delivered by FedEx. All he had to do was clip it to the rest of the paperwork and mail the envelope. Easy, right? I asked him about this every time I phoned home, and he told me the birth certificate hadn't arrived. When I got back, there was the FedEx package sitting on the counter, unopened! I just lost it. 'I can't believe you didn't do anything,' I said, tears welling in my eyes. 'I'm angry, hurt and disappointed. If I can't trust you to mail some documents, how can I trust you to feed our baby or pack a diaper bag?' Tom claimed he was afraid of messing up the forms and wanted us to finish them together. He also said he was too exhausted to care for the house.
"Well, I'm exhausted, too -- mentally and physically -- from having to do everything. I hate nagging him and I feel overwhelmed and alone. I still love my husband, but I'm terrified that I'll never be able to count on him, and I don't have the energy to take care of two children -- Rebecca and Tom."His Turn
"I'm glad my wife admitted she's a nag -- at least she can't accuse me of calling her one," said Tom, 38. "Sara acts like an annoying mother, always nudging me to do this and that, and then calling me a 'slob' or 'couch potato.' It's true that I don't finish my chores as quickly as she does. I don't share her sense of urgency, but I get everything done, eventually.
"Unfortunately, that's not good enough for Sara. She expects me to follow her timetable. So what if all the dining-room chairs aren't reupholstered yet? We only entertain in there twice a year. So what if the lawn gets a bit overgrown? If our neighbor thinks the height of our grass is an eyesore and wants to cut it, that's fine by me. The fact that I'm not fazed by that stuff only upsets Sara more. Sara is a neat freak, but household disarray doesn't bother me. I can't understand why she gets so worked up over petty things.
"Sara portrays me as the bad guy, but that's her perspective. She's right that I didn't pursue my job hunt as aggressively as she would have liked, but I had enough connections to find a good job. I wasn't worried that I'd end up unemployed. I had no idea how upset she was until she went on a tirade about how I'd disappointed her and how she'd have to take care of me.
"As for mailing the adoption forms, I was leery of making a mistake because the paperwork was so complicated. Besides, after she left for her trip, I realized it was something I wanted us to do together. But she's furious at me and has been giving me the cold shoulder ever since. Well, she's not the only one who's miserable and anxious about our future. I'm excited about becoming a father, but our recent spate of arguments is making me wonder what kind of mother Sara will be. Is she going to nag our daughter the way she nags me? Will she scream at her and give her the silent treatment?"
"Sara is the love of my life"
"I had a decent childhood. Dad was a telephone repairman; Mom stayed home to raise my older sisters and me. I was very attached to my mom, who had a loving and generous nature. She never missed my school plays or soccer games, and she always had an encouraging word about my performance. Dad worked hard to provide for us, but he offered little praise or emotional support. He was bossy and controlling, which put a wedge between us. When Sara orders me around, she reminds me of my dad -- and the image stirs up a lot of anger.
"I was instantly attracted to Sara: With her radiant smile, intense green eyes, and wavy auburn hair, she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. But I'm shy, so it took me a month to work up the courage to introduce myself. I still remember our magical first date: We were already close from our dinner conversations, and as I held Sara in my arms on the dance floor I knew I'd marry her. We talked freely and our personalities complemented each other. I'm quiet, serious, and laid-back; Sara is outgoing, witty, and assertive. Her sharp sense of humor made me laugh -- and laughing together felt good.
"Unfortunately, it's been far too long since Sara and I laughed -- or did the things we once enjoyed. In my opinion, this is our chief problem -- not my failure to complete chores on her schedule. For the past few years Sara has been absorbed in her job, working late hours and traveling every month, and I miss her when she's not home. It's really a vicious circle: The less time we spend together, the more neglected and the less motivated I feel. Out of loneliness and laziness, I surf the Internet, play video games, and watch TV until I doze off. I've gained weight and as a result have no energy to exercise. I'm sad that Sara no longer finds me attractive.
"Our problems aside, Sara is the love of my life. I'm devastated that our marriage is in trouble, but I agree that we must work things out before we become parents. It's wrong to raise a child in an unhappy home. I know I need to make changes to become a better husband, but Sara needs to take responsibility for what she's doing wrong, too."
The Counselor's Turn
"When Sara and Tom started therapy she accused him of being too passive, and he said she was too aggressive," the counselor said. "It's very common for people with inherently different personalities to be drawn together. But after I heard this couple's complaints it became clear that Tom's behavior wasn't passive, but rather passive-aggressive.
"An assertive stance is, 'No, I won't pay the bills'; a passive one is to just do it, even if you don't want to. A passive-aggressive stance is saying, 'Sure, I'll pay the bills,' but then 'forgetting' to do it and apologizing, which is cowardly and deceptive. Either way, the bills don't get paid. Being passive-aggressive is an indirect way of expressing anger and exercising power. Tom was angry with Sara for being a controlling caretaker, but to avoid an argument, he acted out by not keeping his promises. This is a fairly common behavior: Many people wrongly assume that if they say no when their spouse makes a request, they'll set off an immediate conflict. In fact, the spouse may well say, 'Fine. I'll find another way to get it done.' People need to have the freedom to say no to their partner without creating ill will.
"This couple needed to accept their basic personality differences, become more accommodating to each other, and improve their communication. Significantly, Sara and Tom identified each other's positive traits and both said they were still in love -- two keys for improving their relationship. What's more, impending parenthood provided the kick in the pants they needed to change. Our counseling sessions provided Tom with a neutral forum in which he felt free to assert himself with candor. 'I don't want Sara to be the sole decision maker anymore,' he admitted in an early session. 'I've let that happen, but I want to be equally involved in shaping Rebecca's life.'
"We discussed how their families of origin had affected their personalities. Tom developed his passive-aggressive tendencies in childhood. He resented his controlling father, who ordered him around. The more his father pushed, the more Tom said yes to placate him but then acted out by not following through and making excuses. It was his way of asserting independence. Once he married, as is so often the case, he re-created this pattern with his wife.
"Meanwhile, Sara's mother, in expressing pleasure at young Sara's popularity, sent the implicit message that her daughter was responsible for her happiness. It's not really surprising that Sara would assume a caretaker role in her marriage or that in her treatment of Tom she would inadvertently mirror the controlling tendencies of his father."
"Accept him for who he is"
"Tom and Sara's behavior patterns had been established decades earlier, but the urgent questions facing them were: Could Tom become an equal partner in his marriage, and could Sara back off? When I suggested that Tom was reluctant to follow through because he harbored unresolved anger at his wife's controlling ways, he acknowledged that the more she nagged him, the more he resisted. 'I don't like to be pressured,' Tom said. But he also hated conflict; hence his habit of making false promises. 'You're eroding Sara's trust,' I explained, 'and you only delay the inevitable fight.'
"Tom needed to be honest with Sara about what he was and wasn't willing to do. 'If you refuse to do something, for whatever reason, explain why upfront. Don't raise her expectations and then disappoint her,' I advised. 'However, if you want a loving, intimate relationship with your wife, you should do some things that are important to her. For example, an unmowed lawn may not bother you, but it clearly bothers her -- not to mention other people in your community. By maintaining the lawn and keeping clutter to a minimum, you'll be making a loving gesture toward your wife.'
"As for Sara, she needed to be less demanding and critical. While Tom vowed to do better at straightening up and finishing household tasks, he freely admitted that he'd never be as neat as Sara. I agreed that Sara should be more tolerant of his basic personality. 'Yes, Tom can improve,' I told her, 'but he can't be you. Accept him for who he is.'
"To prove to Sara that he was serious about becoming more responsible, Tom offered to oversee a series of renovation projects that had to be completed in advance of Rebecca's homecoming later in the year. He hired and supervised the contractors who replaced the furnace; on his own, he painted and tiled the bathrooms, cleaned the basement, prepared the nursery, and negotiated a good deal on a new car. He also finished reupholstering the dining-room chairs and handled his regular chores, after telling Sara that it might take him a while to get everything done. Sara was thrilled with Tom's initiative: 'When we started therapy I thought he was a hopeless case. I can't believe the way he's stepped up.'
"From there we talked about their need for more couple time. Sara agreed to stay downstairs and talk to Tom when she came home from work, and I urged them to go on a weekly date. In honor of their 10th wedding anniversary, they bought new bikes, which they ride on weekends at state parks. As for their sex life, Tom needed to stop falling asleep downstairs and go to bed when Sara did in order to facilitate intimacy. I advised Tom to exercise, not only to make himself more physically appealing but also to boost his energy level. As the couple followed these suggestions, they felt more loving and their sex life resumed -- and improved. 'Now that I no longer resent Tom all the time, I feel the spark returning,' Sara said."
"We're not afraid of anger anymore"
"Finally, I encouraged the couple to adjust their communications style. They'd never seen their parents disagree, so neither had learned how to appropriately express anger, disappointment, or frustration. As a result, they'd fallen into an unhealthy cycle: Sara held her emotions in check for a while, but upon reaching her breaking point would lash out and then punish Tom with the silent treatment. Tom, meanwhile, withdrew when upset. I recommended that Sara express her feelings in a timely manner, rather than suppress them and eventually explode in rage.
"I stressed that when asking Tom to do something, she should use supportive language to convey the task's importance to her: 'Tom, I'm excited about our upcoming trip, and it would mean a lot to me if you could book our flights this week. I'm swamped at work and likely won't be able to handle it.' To avoid misunderstandings, I recommended that Tom tell Sara if he couldn't honor a request. And if he slipped up on a promise and Sara lapsed into name-calling or excessive criticism, he should be direct: 'Sara, it's hurtful when you speak that way. I'm sorry I disappointed you, but we need to move on.' So far, this approach is working. 'We're not afraid of anger anymore,' Tom said. 'Counseling taught us to acknowledge our anger and verbalize it in a positive way.'
"Sara and Tom are rightly proud of their progress. The adoption was recently completed, and they are enjoying parenthood more than they ever imagined. The last time I saw them they were positively glowing about both their baby daughter and their own relationship. 'Tom is a devoted and active father,' Sara gushed. 'I can totally rely on him now, and our future looks bright.'
"Tom agreed. 'I love and appreciate Sara more than ever,' he said, 'and having Rebecca has made our family, and our happiness, complete.'"
"Can This Marriage Be Saved?®" is the most enduring women's magazine feature in the world. This month's case is based on interviews with clients and information from the files of Marc D. Rabinowitz, LCSW, a marital therapist at the Psychotherapy Center, in Norfolk, Virginia. The story told here is true, although names and other details have been changed to conceal identities. "Can This Marriage Be Saved?®" is a registered trademark of Meredith Corporation.
Originally published in Ladies' Home Journal, July 2007.
DIY Rachel!
Saturday, July 21, 2007 ~ 3:58 AM
My new TV
It sat on our floor while Esther & I cleared the space for it
Friday, July 20, 2007 ~ 3:29 PM
How to save $200,000 in 6 months
By MP Dunleavey
Many years ago, when I was breaking up with my then-fiancé, I needed to find my own apartment. But I had no idea how I would be able to afford it.
The problem, plain and simple, was that I didn't have a dime in savings. OK, maybe a dime, in a dusty tray on my desk, but that was it. I hadn't even signed up for the 401(k) plan at my job.
Then one day, as if the Money Fairy had heard me crying, a credit card appeared in the mail!
The credit limit was $6,000. I felt as if someone had handed me a bag of gold. Here was my moving-out money! Here was my freedom!
And there went my financial sanity.
Caught in the debt spiral
We have all heard about rising consumer debt, but the flip side of that sad story is the plunge in the national savings rate in recent years.
In a 2006 report, only about 18% of middle-class families said they had three months' expenses saved, according to the Center for American Progress, a liberal think tank in Washington, D.C.
Worse, nearly 60% of people 44 and under didn't even have $500 set aside for an emergency, according to the Federal Reserve Board's 2004 Survey of Consumer Finances.
Small wonder that many people feel they have no option but to use plastic in a crisis.
You can trace the downward spiral from there: You start with no savings cushion, you stumble into debt, and your paycheck has to stretch to make ends meet and pay off the debt, so how can you save?
Save your sanity
Lindsey Garver, a graduate student in microbiology who lives near Washington, was concerned that some of the Women in Red members were so focused on paying off debt that they were overlooking the protective power of savings.
In January, she helped to launch the Women in Red Savers thread, a message-board support and discussion group for anyone who wants to save for any reason, including those who don't think they can.
Many people start at zero, Garver says, and some add only $10 or $20 a week or even each month. "Some go slower, and some go faster," she says, admitting she falls into the tortoise category.
"The main purpose of the thread is to get people excited about posting even a small amount," Garver says.
Andrea Holder, who joined in February, agrees: "With the Savers, you can say, 'I just saved $27.63!' and people will give you thumbs up. You can't even do that with your best friend."
Some people join with a finite goal: a wedding, dental work or a down payment. Some want to increase their retirement nest eggs.
But many women, Garver says, set up multiple savings accounts to cover a host of life's expenses, from holiday gifts to car insurance to property taxes to an unexpected home repair.
To save is to give yourself a margin of sanity, Garver says. "On a grander scale, it's not about being able to pay your property taxes -- it's about the security it brings. You're not worrying because you've got things covered."
Focused on the future
Andrea Holder is building that peace of mind at steep odds. Holder, a waitress and hostess at two restaurants in Shelby, Mich., says she works 60 hours a week and her husband 40 hours, not just to pay off $50,000 in credit card and car debt but to save for their futures, too.
After their son was born early last year, "I had an epiphany," she says. "Wow, we're adults now; we're parents; we better get this together."
Neither her parents nor her husband's have saved enough for retirement, Holder says. "I don't want to end up like that."
Holder says that if she and her husband focused only on aggressively paying down what they owe, they could be debt-free in about three and a half years. But she didn't want to do that.
She knew they'd need a cushion to keep them afloat while they paid off their debts. "And if we're saving for those three years, the money is earning money, and by the time we retire, that adds up."
Holder set up savings accounts for a home down payment, an emergency fund, a holiday gift fund, a savings plan for their son and a vacation stash. She also opened a Roth individual retirement account and intends to save more in her company's 401(k) now that she is eligible.
Since joining the Savers, Holder says, she has paid off about $9,000 in debt and saved $2,000.
Sometimes she's discouraged that she hasn't saved more. But mainly she is amazed by the way saving has changed their lives.
Before, Holder says, she and her husband would have put many expenses on a credit card. "Now, if we need new tires, we discuss how we're going to approach it: 'OK, if we put away $20 a week, we can get them by the end of summer,' " she says.
"Instead of owing more, we can just save for it."
The secrets of savers
According to Garver, about 60 women have joined the Savers since January, and altogether they have saved $200,000 and counting.
As with the Women in Red Racers, who are "racing" to pay down their debts, the Savers say community support is a big reason they keep saving.
Amanda Bellamy, an avid saver who works for the city of Mission Viejo, Calif., says she had never told anyone about all of her savings strategies and goals. "It's not the kind of thing you talk about."
The Savers do. But it's not just a cheerleading squad. Savers inspire each other by swapping all sorts of tricks and tips:
1) Divide and conquer. Many Savers swear by the power of multiple savings accounts. When funds are earmarked for, say, house repairs, you're less likely to tap them for your cell-phone bill, Garver says.
2) Let yourself "find" money. Garver says that one big surprise for women when they join the group is that "there's a lot of 'found money' out there -- money that would otherwise trickle away," she says, referring to the bits of cash that float through our lives (a refund from the telephone company, for example, or $10 you find at the bottom of your purse).
Rather than ignore a mini-windfall, she says, "Now they're excited to hang on to it."
3) Do what works. In the six months she has been monitoring the group, Garver says, she has seen people employ many different successful saving methods. There's no "right" way, she emphasizes. Some strategies:
Set aside a fixed amount or percentage each week or each month.
Start with a goal of saving $2,000, for example, and break that down to an amount you can manage each month.
Save only the extras: refunds, overtime pay, interest earned, gift money, bonuses.
Some Savers try to live on one biweekly paycheck and save all or most of the next one.
4) Don't succumb to savings blues. The trouble with saving, Garver says, is that most of the time you end up spending the savings on a designated goal. "A lot of people go through some disappointment when they see that money go," she says. "It can be a downer."
To stay on track, Garver advises, it's important to acknowledge that the money you spent was spent wisely -- and then to keep on saving.
5) Play games. The Savers I talked to emphasized that saving, especially in a group, can and should be fun.
Bellamy puts aside $5 every time her boyfriend does something sweet, such as taking her out to dinner.
My husband and I save all our $5 bills. That's our mad money.
Holder separates her spare change in different buckets, to make it easier to roll. "I think I have $100 that we can put toward our house fund."
Bellamy gets 26 paychecks a year but has learned to live on two per month, so the "extra" two checks each year go toward her car loan or other goals. Thus far, she has paid down a $13,500 loan to just $1,500. "It will be paid off in August," she says.
And last but not least:
6) Put your money on automatic pilot. The oldest new trick in this high-tech era is still one that most Savers swear by (including yours truly): Use automatic transfers to save.
That's because, as we all know, money left in your checking account is magnetically drawn to the inside of your wallet. Put it out of immediate reach.
Holder has peace of mind in the present, and she looks forward to the future: buying a home, sending their son to college and one day retiring in comfort. "You have to be able to live life," she says.
Published July 11, 2007
Sunday, July 08, 2007 ~ 11:14 PM
Mie Mie's wedding in Malacca
Embarked on a journey to the historical city of Malacca on July 6th, 2007 (Friday) for the weekend because Kevin's friend from Tawau, Guan Mie, will be getting married on the next day in Malacca on 07-07-07! (July 7th, 2007) And since Kevin was on MC on Friday (he had an appointment at 10am with Dr. Daniel Foo at Lourdes Medical Centre, Jalan Ipoh), we decided to head on to Malacca after the appointment so we would have more time to go sightseeing around Malacca.
Our first pitstop in Malacca: Hainanese Chicken Rice Balls
After that, we went to look for our hotel - The Baba House along Jalan Tun Tan Cheng Lock. After we checked in, we decided to walk around since the hotel was just next to Jonker Walk (Jalan Hang Jebat) and do abit more of sightseeing.
Kevin and I decided to have some snacks in a cafe called The Geographer we saw while we were driving past on the way to the hotel earlier. After that, we headed on to Jonker Walk to jalan-jalan. It looked and felt abit like walking down SJ Uptown cum Bali shops here. Hehe! Lotsa earrings, bags, handicraft, hairclips, etc sold there in Jonker Walk. 
The very next morning (07-07-07), we attended Mie Mie's wedding mass in St. Theresa's Parish Church. Roti arrived this morning in Malacca and met Kev and I in The Baba House and we went to the church together. Roti's friend, Wan Ling, stayed back at the hotel. There were six couples (including Mie Mie and her hubby, Philip) tying the knot in the church that morning. Obviously, the date 07-07-07 meant something special or something. 
After the mass, Roti, Kevin and I headed back to The Baba House to catch our complimentary free hotel breakfast. After that, I brought Kevin to a clinic to change his dressing (for his leg). Then we decided to take a walk in Jonker Street again. We found the chicken rice ball shop that Ivy recommended. We ate there and the food was just soooo tasty!!! YUMMY!!! =) So much better than the other shop's. 
After having a hearty meal of chicken rice balls, we went into one of the three Orang Utan t-shirt shops to buy us some T-Shirts. I got one which read "Malaysia Boleh" and I bought one for Esther which read "I Love Chicken Rice Balls" while Kevin bought two for himself. We headed back to the hotel shortly after for some shut-eye before the wedding dinner later that evening.
Shortly after that, Kevin and I headed back to the hotel and decided to talk a walk in Jonker Street when Ivy asked for yum char. So we cancelled the walk and waited for Ivy to come pick us. She took us around and about in Malacca in her car. And lastly, after driving for almost half an hour or so, we made a pitstop at Jalan Ong Kim Wee (nearby the Baba House) for the famous satay celup. Tasty tasty! ;)The very next morning, the four of us (Roti, Wan Ling, Kevin and I) went for our complimentary brekkie together. Real soon after that, Lulu and Mui Ling came to the Baba House and joined Roti, Wan Ling, Kevin and I for lunch already! Haha! :P We went to the Nyonya place (forgot the name already) within walking distance to the Baba House for lunch. The place was visited by the Ho-Chak show hosts. Ho-Chak is a local TV network's (8TV) show that goes around visiting places that serve good tasty food and introduce the dishes to Malaysians. After that, we just went our separate ways and headed back to KL. God bless! ;)