Rachel's purple dream

Sunday, April 29, 2007 ~ 6:03 PM

Useless Waiting

Haven't been swimming for almost 2 weeks in a row liao. Didn't go last weekend cuz I was tired after the Good Charlotte concert. Today Kevin and I have agreed to go at 6pm in 3K but he's gone out to play badminton with his mates and is not back yet. Sigh! Hate the guy for breaking promises, be it big or small!

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How To Save Your Heart

Save Your Heart For Her

Hearts are different in men and women. Here's the best advice for women.

The idea that men and women are different is certainly not news. One popular book even suggests that we come from different planets.

But research suggests that it's more than plumbing and light years that separate us: Our wiring is different too; in particular, that set of wires and pumps known as the cardiovascular system. When we asked leading heart doctors to tell us how you can attack-proof your heart, they nixed a one-sex-fits-all plan in favor of this "his and hers" approach.

But they also asked us to remind you of one way that we're all alike: Heart disease is the leading killer of both men and women.

Her Plan: No More Queen of Denial

One out of every three women currently under 40 will eventually develop heart disease; more than 450,000 women of all ages died from it in 2004 — 11 times as many as died from breast cancer. And almost 30 percent of all women in the U.S. live with heart disease. Didn't know that? You're not alone.

"In the past, many doctors didn't know that heart disease was a major cause of death in women, let alone the leading one," says Marianne J. Legato, MD, a professor of clinical medicine at Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons in New York City. "Although awareness and treatment have improved somewhat, especially in large cities, the death rate from a first heart attack is twice as high in women under 50 as it is for men of the same age."The bottom line: It's up to you to ask for more tests or seek another opinion if you feel that your doctor is dismissing your concerns, risks, or symptoms.

Think Down With Cholesterol
Aim for a total cholesterol of less than 150 milligrams per deciliter (mg/dl), an LDL (bad) of 130 mg/dl or less, an HDL (good) of 45 mg/dl or higher, and triglycerides of less than 150.

"For women, a low HDL is much more predictive of heart disease than a high total cholesterol," says Debra Judelson, MD, medical director of the Women's Heart Institute at the Cardiovascular Medical Group in Los Angeles. "HDL over 60 mg/dl is a positive protector against heart disease," adds Dr. Legato. It may edge your total cholesterol up, but you're still protected against heart disease if your total cholesterol/HDL ratio is 4.0 or less.

Dr. Judelson suggests that you ask your doctor to tack on one more measurement to your regular cholesterol test: lipoprotein (a), a protein strand that's attached to bad cholesterol molecules. When researchers from the Framingham Heart Study tested these levels in more than 3,000 women, they found that participants with lipoprotein (a) above 30 mg/dl doubled their risk of heart disease.

Rate Your Risk
In addition to abnormal cholesterol, you're more likely to develop heart disease if you have these risk factors:

Smoking (ups the odds at least two- to fourfold more if you take birth control pills) Diabetes (raises your risk four to six times) Blood pressure higher than 135/85 Family history of early heart disease Premature (before age 38) menopause (either naturally or through removal of the ovaries) Overweight Sedentary lifestyle

Take the Test
Don't settle for the treadmill test, where you simply walk on a treadmill while your blood pressure and heart's electrical activity are measured. "Although it's a good starting point for men, a treadmill test is counterproductive for women because it produces so many false positives and false negatives," says Dr. Legato.

So where do you begin? With an exercise echocardiography, also known as a stress echo test. While you're on a treadmill, a machine translates sound waves into pictures that show your heart's size, shape, movement, and pumping ability.

Redesign Your Diet
A low-fat diet is appropriate for most women, but certain women with a low HDL level can actually increase their risk for heart disease from cutting back on all fats. Most women (and men) will improve their health with a Mediterranean-style diet consisting of lots of fruits and vegetables, with most of the fat coming from olive oil, canola oil, olives, avocados, and nuts.

Olive oil raises good HDL and lowers your risk, says Stephen Devries, MD, director of the Heart Center at the University of Illinois in Chicago. (Prevention recommends that you limit total fat to 25 percent of daily calories, with no more than 7 percent as saturated fat.)

Because diabetes increases the risk of heart disease more for women than men, you should use whole grain carbohydrates such as whole wheat bread and brown rice rather than refined ones such as white bread and white rice, says Walter Willett, MD, chairman of the department of nutrition at the Harvard School of Public Health.

In his study of more than 64,000 nurses, Dr. Willett and his colleagues found that those who ate large amounts of refined carbohydrates doubled their chances of developing type 2 diabetes, while those who consumed mostly whole grains didn't raise their risk at all.

What about HRT?
Doctors think that women have heart attacks later in life than men because estrogen protects them until menopause, says Dr. Legato. But in recent years, hormone replacement therapy (HRT), taken by millions of women to reduce menopausal symptoms and protect their hearts, was dealt a series of blows. In the 1990s, several studies found that estrogen actually increased deaths in women who already had heart disease.

Then, in July 2002, the largest study of its kind The Women's Health Initiative (WHI) found that not only did HRT not prevent heart attacks, it actually increased a woman's risk for heart attack, stroke, blood clots and breast cancer. The government, which funded the study of more than 160,000 postmenopausal women, told the participants to stop taking the pills.

In October 2004, researchers sifting through the WHI results found that HRT doubles a woman's chances of developing dangerous blood clots, with the highest risk for overweight women or those over 60. On the strength of this evidence, most doctors are now hesitant to prescribe HRT, especially to women who have risk factors for any of these conditions.

No Excuses!
In a recent study, women cited low self-esteem as their biggest barrier to a heart-healthy lifestyle, says Lori Mosca, MD, PhD, director of preventive cardiology research and education at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor.

And how are you going to break free? "Work on becoming more optimistic," suggests Maryann Troiani, PhD, a psychologist in Barrington, IL, and author of Spontaneous Optimism (Castlegate, 1998). "Optimism and confidence go hand in hand."

She suggests ridding your vocabulary of negative words such as "try" and "but" because they don't give you a sense of commitment to your goal. Talk more to cheerful people and less to unhappy ones. "We feed off of each other's emotions," she says. And walk tall rather than shuffle your feet. "If you look the part and talk the part, chances are you'll feel the part," says Dr. Troiani.

Recognize the Symptoms
"In women, the signs of a heart attack can be very different than they are in men," says Lynn Smaha, MD, clinical cardiologist and former president of the American Heart Association. Instead of crushing chest pain, you may have lighter chest, stomach, or abdominal pain; nausea or dizziness; shortness of breath; heart palpitations; fatigue; and weakness.

If you experience these symptoms, Dr. Judelson advises that you immediately chew a full-strength (325 mg) aspirin (it'll significantly improve your survival rate if you are indeed having a heart attack; if not, it won't hurt) and head to the ER immediately.

And if the docs say that they can't find anything wrong? "Don't let them dismiss you until you've received a thorough evaluation, including an electrocardiogram," says Dr. Judelson. "I've had too many patients who were sent home with a clean bill of health from the ER who indeed had heart disease."

Save Your Heart for Him

His Plan: Stop Being the King of Denial
One out of every two men currently 40 and under will eventually develop heart disease; more than 410,000 men died from it in 2004—13 times more than died of prostate cancer.

"You may think that it's the other guy who will get heart disease," says Kenneth Goldberg, MD, director of the Male Health Center in Dallas. "But all my patients with heart disease thought it was going to be the other guy. At least open yourself up to the possibility that it could happen to you. And then work as hard as you can to prevent it."

Think Down With Cholesterol
Shoot for a total cholesterol of less than 150 milligrams per deciliter (mg/dl), an LDL (bad) of less than 130 mg/dl, an HDL (good) of 45 mg/dl or higher, and triglycerides of less than 150.

The most important number in that equation is LDL. "In men, studies show that a high LDL increases the risk of developing heart disease more than a low HDL or high triglycerides, and treatment of LDL is most effective in reducing cardiac risk," says Debra Judelson, MD, medical director of the Women's Heart Institute at the Cardiovascular Medical Group in Los Angeles.

Rate Your Risk
An abnormal cholesterol level is not the only tip-off that a heart attack may be in your future, says Stephen Devries, MD, director of the Heart Center at the University of Illinois in Chicago. Consider these other clues: Smoking (increases your risk at least two- to fourfold) Diabetes (doubles your risk) Blood pressure higher than 135/85 Family history of early heart disease Overweight Sedentary lifestyle

Take the Test
"I tell people to take charge of their health. Make sure that you are checked for risk factors and that you get the information you need to lower your individual risk," says Dr. Devries.

If you have several risk factors for heart disease, your doctor might recommend a treadmill exercise test (also called a stress test) to get an even better idea of how your heart is working, he says. You simply walk on a treadmill while your blood pressure and changes in your heart's electrical activity are monitored. Based on the results of this test, your doctor may recommend other tests or encourage you to make some lifestyle (exercise and diet) changes.

If your cholesterol and/or blood pressure is particularly high, he may also prescribe medication.

Redesign Your Diet
Trim the fat especially the saturated kind, advises Dr. Devries. "Most men need to cut back on the fat found in a typical American diet. Meat should be considered a treat, not a part of every meal. Pasta, stir-fries, and fish should substitute for many of the meat meals. In the dairy department, try low-fat milk and cheese," says Dr. Devries.

No Excuses!
When researchers at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor asked 186 men what stood in their way of achieving a heart-healthy lifestyle, their number one answer was you guessed it time (Jour. of Women's Health, vol 7, no 6, 1998).

"In the short term, staying late at the office instead of hitting the gym or making your doctor's appointment may seem like it's the best thing to do for your career and family," says Dr. Goldberg. "But you can't climb the corporate ladder or be there for your family from a hospital bed. You need to prioritize your time by putting your health first and foremost."

Recognize the Symptoms
A third of the men who responded to a Men's Health magazine survey said that they wouldn't seek care if they experienced severe chest pain and shortness of breath. Duh! Don't be stupid. If you're having the following symptoms, chew a full-strength (325 mg) aspirin (it'll help break up clots associated with your attack) and get to the hospital ASAP: Uncomfortable pressure, fullness, squeezing, or pain in the center of the chest that lasts more than a few minutes or that quickly fades in and out. The pain may spread to the shoulders, neck, or arms, and it may be accompanied by lightheadedness, sweating, nausea, or shortness of breath.

"Remember: The longer you delay getting to the hospital, the more likely that the attack will be fatal," cautions Dr. Goldberg.

By Karen Cicero, Prevention

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Thursday, April 26, 2007 ~ 7:15 PM

Public holiday

Woke up at close to 3pm today. Since today's a public holiday (installation of Malaysia's new king), it's okay for me to get up about that time. I don't get that kinda privilege often anyway. Hehe!

Auntie Chris & her kids came over to my house together with Sharon's family. Was very noisy but "yit lao" (happening). Hehe. Gave alot of my old clothes to Auntie Chris. Some are new (meaning I've not worn them before), some I can't fit anymore. Goodbye my MNGs! *sob... sob...* I also gave one of my MNG tops to Sharon. That was the red MNG top which I bought for CNY last year. well, at least Auntie Chris was so psyched about the new clothes (including tops & skirts & pants). She said now at least she'll have pretty clothes to wear to wear , and she doesn't have to fork out money to buy clothes! ;)

Now I finally got hold of the PC after they all left. Saw this really gorgeous black dress on the Internet from Target.com but can't buy it tho. It seems they only ship to the 50 states in USA and also Europe. Nothing to Asia Pacific. Sigh! And it's so cheap! Only USD22.49 which is more or less equivalent to RM89.96! Here's how the dress looks like! Wish I could have it tho!

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Reasons to Love Men

1. They've got that comfortable place on their shoulder that's perfect for snuggling into while we fall asleep.

2. They're at peace with their bodies, except for maybe some minor anxiety over height, weight, and baldness.

3. They're enthusiastic about our bodies, even when we're not.

4. They fall in love so hard, once they finally fall.

5. Chest hair, forearm hair and the feel of a newly shaved cheek.

6. Bravery around snakes, water bugs, bats and flat tires.

7. Their unapologetic lust for a nice hunk of coffee or chocolate cake.

8. Their ability to solve problems simply by throwing a ball around.

9. The glimpse you get when they wear their baseball cap backward of their inner Little Leaguer.

10. How tender they get when they cry, and how seldom they do it.

11. What they lack in talk, they tend to make up for in action.

12. They make excellent companions when driving through rough neighbourhoods or walking past dark alleys.

13. They really love their moms. They remind us of our dads.

14. They don't mind accompanying a woman to a party even though she looks like a movie star and they look like her chauffeur.

15. Their near-endless appetite for discussing the ins and outs of work and money - ours as well as theirs.

16. Their genuine ardour for tinkering with toilets, changing oil and assembling gas grills - jobs any intelligent woman can do but would be nuts to volunteer for.

17. They rarely lie about their age, their weight, or their clothing size.

18. How awestruck they are in the face of a Wonderbra or a homemade cookie.

19. How nice their butts look in jeans.

20. How nice their hands look holding ours.

21. Their face is a treasure to behold when they give us a present they picked out.

22. Their ignorance is usually amusing.

23. They have a great sense of competition.

24. They give great hugs, (and always melt our hearts when a sweet "I love you" is added).

25. Though they often try to hide it, they're very tender-hearted and caring.

26. They have an uncanny ability to look deeply into our eyes and connect with our heart, even when we don't want them to.

27. They don't care whether colors match, but are willing to be concerned if we want them to be.

28. They give us a peek at the little boy inside when they get sick or happy or hurt.

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Wednesday, April 25, 2007 ~ 4:14 PM

5 signs you’re trying too hard

By Bob Strauss

There’s an old saying by the animator Chuck Jones (by way of the philosopher George Santayana): “A fanatic is someone who redoubles his effort when he’s forgotten his aim.” Jones was describing Wile E. Coyote’s relentless pursuit of the Road Runner, but this maxim also applies to your dating life. How can you tell when it’s time to unstrap those Acme rocket boots from your feet and throttle back from your desperate chase after the opposite sex? Here are some surefire signs that you need to take a step back and chill out:

1. Agreeing with everything your date says (whether you really agree or not).

“No one likes a doormat,” says John Seeley, author of Get Unstuck: The Simple Guide to Restart Your Life. “If you say or agree with things only to make another person happy, that person will eventually realize that a yes man or woman isn’t needed.” For example: I once took a date to a big-budget sci-fi movie that wasn’t quite as spectacular as advertised. When I asked her what she thought, she insisted on hearing my opinion first, and then agreed with what I said completely. Next!

2. Writing to people online (who you’re not really interested in).

I’ve been guilty of this transgression myself. Sometimes it can be hard to throttle back your dating engine, and you find yourself going through the motions—scouring online profiles, writing to people who are inappropriate for one reason or another (say, she’s six-foot-five and will only date fellow giants) and being disappointed by the results. If you sense that you’re pushing, there’s no harm in taking a week’s break and getting on with other aspects of your life. You’ll come back to the online world relaxed and refreshed, with actual real-life experiences to write about to your prospective dates.

3. Getting a dog (when you’re really a cat person).

It’s true, there’s nothing like walking a dog to encounter eligible singles you might not ordinarily find at nightclubs or online dating services (though in my experience, most dog-walkers just chat mindlessly about their pets’ eating habits, then proceed merrily on their way). However, “you should have a pet because you love animals,” Seeley says. “Getting a dog specifically to meet someone is like saying that you, by yourself, aren’t enough.” The only thing worse than walking a dog just to meet someone is walking a cat, which puts you in another dating category entirely.

4. Contacting long-lost flames (who have long since moved on).

It’s only in TV dramas (and the occasional story in People magazine) that a 40-something bachelor contacts his high-school squeeze out of the blue, takes her out for a night on the town, and bang! They’re married three weeks later. Usually, there’s a good reason why that guy you dated briefly a couple of years ago drifted away, never to be heard from again. While you may justify calling or emailing him with the thought, “Well, at least I’m trying,” you’re likely to achieve the same result (that is, if he even writes back to you, which is far from a sure thing).

5. Taking a class (when you already know the subject).

If you’re a classical music buff, there’s nothing wrong with attending a lecture series about Mozart, even if you’ve read every Mozart biography written since the 19th century. But it’s another thing entirely to enroll in a “Spanish for Beginners” course when you grew up in Venezuela. “Sometimes people want to show they’re really good at something,” Seeley acknowledges, “but relationships are based on trust, and if you have to disguise who you are in order to meet someone, it violates that trust.”

So check for these signs that you’re working too hard at love. If you’re experiencing any of the symptoms, go home, rest, see your friends and explore some new interests and hobbies…you should be recovered in 10 days to two weeks.

Bob Strauss is a New York-based writer and author of The Big Book of What, How and Why. Email him your thoughts here.

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Early Wednesday morning

Nothing to do today. As you can see from the pic below, I haven't even logged into my work mail. Sigh! Juz decided to take a pic of my workstation today. This is where I sit every morning, after 10am, I surely will cabut oredi. =)

Also, I took a pic of Wei Hau cuz he's leaving the company already by end of this month (last day of work is April 30th, 2007). He'll be going back to Sibu, Sarawak to work with his dad. The last pic is my fairly new but wacky colleague, Amierul or M in short (juz like M in 007, hehehe).

This is M's good side...

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Tuesday, April 24, 2007 ~ 3:07 PM

New ways to ask someone out

By Amy Spencer

It seems so simple: If you like someone, and you want to take him or her out on a date, you just ask. We all know, however, that it’s much harder than it looks—which is why most of us clam up, bow out, fidget, mumble and fumble at the moment of truth. But those days can soon be history. The key? Take your mind off the possibility of rejection by adding a little life to your next invitation. Here are ways to ask someone out that are so new, different, and unexpected that your askee will just have to accept!

Ask your intended out on paper…or a paper napkin

If you’re out at a bar and notice a cute person standing there, put the cocktail napkins to good use. Remember those grade school “Do you like me?” notes you used to pass around? Do something similar. Grab a pen, write down, “Would you like to go out next week?” with a “Yes” box and a “No” box beneath it. Fold up the napkin note and pass it to him or her with the pen.

Pull your own “To Be Continued…” episode

The less you know the person you’re asking out, the better off you are with this technique. While no one is saying to ask out a total stranger of course (for safety’s sake), this is a good approach if you’re attracted to a friend of a friend when, say, you’re all out at a bar or party. Start a story, then stop partway through saying, “Oh, this is a two-part episode. To hear the other half, you’ll have to tune into a date with me.” Why do I know this works? Because a guy I met in a bar used something similar on me a few months ago. We’d been talking about traveling adventures we’d had, and he said, “I have two funny stories about that.” After finishing his first story, he said, “As for the second story… well, I’ll tell you when we go out for dinner.” We’ve been out for four dinners since!

Hire a stand-in to do the asking

If you’re feeling too chicken to approach the gorgeous stranger across the room, have a friend — or the party host, or the bartender at your favorite hangout — do it for you. Ask your go-between to say to your would-be date, “My friend over there wants to know if you’ll go out with him/her.” Then be sure they pour on the charm for you with glowing lines, like, “She’s a great woman, and you’d be a fool not to go out with her.” Or “I mean, he’s a cool dude—check out his shoes.” Once you have the object of your affections smiling, then you can move in for the answer personally.

Evite someone for a one-on-one

If you already have the email address of the person you want to ask out, let an Internet invite do the talking. Go to Evite.com and arrange a small party… so small that the only invitees are you and your date. In the reply box, you, of course, should write something funny like, “Heck yeah, I’ll be there! Count me in!”

Sneak it onto their to-do list

If someone you know (and like) hasn’t gotten around to asking you out — and if you’re the bold type — insert it into his or her schedule. Yvi Chen, 30, penned this approach not too long ago. She was at a friend’s house (a single, handsome friend’s house) and wrote in his calendar, “Call Yvi to remind her about having dinner next week.” On the next page, a week later, she scheduled in, “Dinner with Yvi.” Yes, it was cheeky, but she felt she had nothing to lose. “I knew he’d either call to comment on what I wrote in his calendar, or he’d just pretend he never saw it,” says Yvi. “I was fine either way. I just didn’t want to be rejected face-to-face.” As if. In the end, Yvi got the “remind,” and they dined!

Start your own rumor

If there’s someone you’ve been flirting with for a few weeks or years, and you can’t figure out a way to break the “friend” boundary, here’s a plan that can work brilliantly. Tell the person you have your eye on, “So the rumor is, you want to ask me out…” If he really does want to ask you out, you’ve just handed him a safety net for rejection. And if he hadn’t thought of asking you out, he might be intrigued enough by the “rumor” to look at you in a new light. If he says, “Who started that rumor?” Say, “I can’t reveal my sources.” Or “I can’t tell you who, but it was someone very smart.” My friend Lisa tried this with a guy she’d been flirty friends with in college who’d never made a move. Though he was flustered for a minute, she finally said, “Look, are you going to ask me out or not?” He said, “Uh… yes.” She then said “yes” to a date that night. And five years later, she said “yes” to his marriage proposal.

Make a wager

The next time you want to ask out a stranger you meet at a bar or party, up your chances of getting a yes by upping the fun ante. Say to him or her, “I’ll play you in a game of pool. If I win, you take me out. And if you win, I’ll let you take me out.” Let the game begin!

Be specific and straight-up

Whether you want to ask out a stranger, a friend or someone you’ve struck up a conversation with at a party, go bold. Replace a wishy-washy line like, “So yeah, we should hang out or something soon, you know?” with a far more straightforward, “Would you like to get sushi with me next Thursday night?” No mixed messages, no fumbling for words, and oozing with confidence… and that’s something every date askee wants to hear.

Amy Spencer writes for Cosmopolitan, Real Simple, and other publications.
Article courtesy of Happen magazine, www.happenmag.com.

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Monday, April 23, 2007 ~ 3:01 PM

20 ways to celebrate your date

By Margot Carmichael Lester

Who doesn’t like being appreciated? Instead of waiting for a reason to show our dates how much we appreciate them, let’s just do it! Even the simplest gestures go a long way toward making the person you’re seeing feel great about dating you. “The foundation of a loving relationship is mutual appreciation and respect,” says Jill Spiegel, author of The Flirtologist’s Guide To Dating. “Celebrating the person you’re dating makes your connection healthy, loving and positive.”

Here are 20 ways to do it:

1. Put it in writing: Edie Raether, author of Sex for the Soul says, “A handmade card means much more than an expensive gift. It is the thought that counts!”

2. Go out and buy something you know your date wants, but hasn’t gotten around to purchasing.

3. “My girlfriend never has time to pay bills or pick up dry cleaning, so I always offer to handle that for her,” notes Dom Patterson of Newark, NJ.

4. Get an autographed picture of your date’s all-time favorite movie star, author or sports figure.

5. Patti Henry, author of The Emotionally Unavailable Man: A Blueprint for Healing, advocates simply paying attention. “Those who listen get to have deeper, more meaningful connections. If you show a genuine interest, they will go to a deeper level of sharing with you.”

6. At your date’s place and getting ready to leave? Follow this tip from Dimitri Petrushka of Boston, MA: “I put a cute note on her pillow.”

7. Find out your date’s favorite childhood meal and fix some surprise comfort food.

8. Terri Orbuch, Detroit’s “Love Doctor,” says, “Call your date’s voicemail at work and leave a wonderful message in the a.m. so when they get in, that is the first thing the person hears.”

9. “Write a love letter,” suggests Steve Peters of Issaquah, WA. “Tell her not what you like about her, but how and why what you like makes your life better.”

10. Get his or her car washed and detailed, then fill the tank.

11. Victorya Michaels Rogers, author of Finding a Man Worth Keeping, advises, “Flatter your date with genuine, specific flattery, not superficial generic words. Everyone is positively affected by genuine flattery and will come back for more.”

12. Send flowers—even to men. Not your style? Send a bouquet of balloons.

13. “It’s corny, but call or email when you think about your date during the day,” notes Nancy Tarczinski of Atlanta.

14. “I always check in after one of our dates—I let her know I’m looking forward to seeing her again,” says Dave Steuben of Queens, NY.

15. Jackie Woods, author of Soulmate or Cell-mate: A Guide to Healthy Relationships, suggests making a scrapbook of special shared times.

16. Spend some quiet time together, lying on the couch or sitting by the fire.

17. “Every once in a while I just look her deep in the eyes and tell her I’m glad I found her,” relates David Herrera of Austin, TX. “It seems to do the trick.”

18. Make a small sacrifice: “Every so often I go bowling with a date, even though I don’t really enjoy it,” notes Pamela Angelo of Sarasota, FL. “I get a kick out of seeing him have so much fun.”

19. “Say it with baked goods,” says Karen Ellsworth of Columbia, SC. “I sent a gourmet pound cake to my man’s office. It not only showed him I cared, but his co-workers, too.”

20. Language expert Steve Peha says that sometimes the simplest and most direct approach is the most effective: “Express your appreciation face-to-face in a way the other person can’t discount. Give your date a compliment that focuses on you instead of on them. Say something like, ‘When I’m with you, I feel ___________.’ This way he or she can’t demur or shake off the compliment.”

Using any of these tips will ensure that your date always feels honored, respected and valued.

Margot Carmichael Lester is a freelance writer in Carrboro, NC, whose work also appears in Go magazine and the Los Angeles Business Journal.

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Sunday, April 22, 2007 ~ 4:47 PM

Post GC effect

Sharon & I took LRT to the Good Charlotte concert which was held in Bukit Jalil National Stadium's carpark A. Well, we actually hopped on the wrong train when we were in the Star LRT (my first time riding on the Star) along with a whole lotta other GC concert goers. The GC T-shirt that I wore that day actually saved me & Sharon cuz the other fan (a guy sitting next to Sharon in the Star LRT) informed us we were all on the wrong train. So we hopped off and got on the right train to the concert. Good! =)

And on the right train, we met this young group (they were only 16). So we chatted with them and walked with them to the queue. By the time we got there, the VIP queue was already wayyyy too long, so u can imagine how much insanely longer the non-VIP queue would be. Anyway, so this young group we met (2 girls & a boy) decided to pay their way to cut the queue. Wow, this was something new to me & Sharon, we were utterly shocked but pleasant as well cuz we got to the front of the line. The girl, Cassie, paid RM50 to a girl and we became their "friends" and joined in their line. Haha! Cassie said we needn't pay her back, so cool! She also claimed that earlier during the GC autograph signing session in Subang Parade, she also did the same thing - pay someone to cut their queue and met up with the band! She was some amazing chicka! :P

Not only that, Cassie also joined every single available contest there was to ensure she won the GC tickets. So all in all, she had an excess of 16 tickets, which she sold at the queue for RM300!!! Oh, btw, GC tickets could only be won thru various contests. But she was somewhere selling her tickets when the doors opened and we were allowed to go in. So we lost touch with them. She paid for the front placing in the queue but Sharon & I went in instead. Thanks for much, Cassie & friend & brother, Ian tho I dunno where you all are right now.

Anyway, the coolest part was we were in the VIP section!!! One more thing before I forget, Emily Cheah (Sharon & Stuart's niece) was queueing up that time too in the VIP section, she had been queueing since 2pm. Sharon & I only got there after 6pm. Haha! Money does speak, I supposed! :P And we joined Emily in front of the stage. We were so close to the stage. Hehehehe!

This was taken from the VIP section overlooking the non-VIP crowds

The stage

Me with the backdrop of the stage

The opening bands were Lo, Estranged and One Buck Short (tho not in that order). And then after all the agony of the prolonged waiting, Good Charlotte took the stage and the crowds went wild, me included. Haha! Joel Madden commanded the stage in a black suit and to tell ya the truth, he looked really good in person! But I tell ya, the crowds were madness! I nearly died there! Okay well, not so dramatic tho. Maybe I would say I nearly suffocated there. Plus, I hadn't had any lunch nor dinner. So I was ravenous! Knees were going weak, tummy aching in pure hunger! And I even dropped my bag (which initially I thought somebody snapped my bag strap and took away my bag, thank God no!). So Sharon, Emily & I initially agreed to go after 5 songs because I couldn't put up any longer with all the pushing & pulling of all the ppl who were trying to get to the middle spot, which was where Sharon, Emily & I were standing at!

So we got outta the crowds after 5 songs and man, I instantly appreciated air (clean, fresh, cool air). And we decided to stay on for 5 more songs outside the crowds (but still within the VIP section), which we all agreed was better than inside cuz we got to move around freely, no pushing & pulling, not stuffy at all and plus, there was even a big screen to see GC upclose. We had already seen them live in person earlier, so we could make do with the big flat screen. Hehehe! You see, I am in fact claustrophobic! It was indeed a miracle that I even went to the concert. But one part of me was really glad that I went there and got it done and over with. Another part of me just hoped I hadn't been to the concert (cuz of all the other inconsiderate & selfish ppl pushing & pulling to take the front places).

After 10 songs, we walked back to the LRT station, only to find it about to close. So luckily we left early cuz the LRT security guard told us that the officials for GC concert didn't inform the authorities in the LRT to keep the trains going till 12.30am (as what they'd written in the Digi passes). So that Star LRT was the last one going to Masjid Jamek and there wasn't any Putra LRT to connect back to Taman Bahagia stop. So upon arriving in Masjid Jamek, we took a cab back to Sharon's place in ss2. Then we went to ss2 mamak to have supper (which was also my lunch & dinner). So tiring! Phew! But I made it! I MADE IT!!!

After polishing my plate of Maggi goreng double!

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Saturday, April 21, 2007 ~ 4:04 PM

Before GC concert

Okay, I juz finished bathing and got myself into the Good Charlotte's T-shirt already. Juz wanted to post this before going off to GC's concert in Bukit Jalil. Sharon & I plan to go via LRT. So now I'll have to drive to her house in ss2 and then we'll take Putra LRT and then change to Star LRT in Masjid Jamek.

It rained very heavily juz now and Kevin's house experienced a power trip so everything went black juz now. Luckily I wasn't home alone, or else I would've really freaked out badly. Now the rain has stopped or maybe it's drizzling now, I'm not very sure. Will find out later.

Kev's gone out yum char with Yit Wei. Okie, this is Rachel signing off before the GC effect. Will update later. Don't think there'll be any pics to upload since Sharon & I don't have a digicam in hand. The Sony Cybershot's at home, forgot to ask Esther to bring it up today. Oh well, nevermind! ;) God bless us all!

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I have a confession to make

Well, actually I have a confession to make... Kevin actually read my mind about the wig. I think just about last week, I was just wondering to myself how nice it would be if I owned a wig so I could just switch from having long hair to short in a matter of minutes. But I didn't think of how scary it would be to actually really own a wig. But I was just thinking to myself. It didn't mean I really wanted one!

But still, I am mad at Kevin for not knowing (really knowing) me after all these years! I wonder will I face disappointment after disappointment with every approaching occasion? Sigh & hmm...

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Friday, April 20, 2007 ~ 1:06 AM

A wig?! What was Kevin thinking?!

MSN chatbox with Lai Kuan (who happens to be in KL at the moment till Sunday)...

Raaaachhhhelllll - alive again says:
u know what? i juz found out what my bf bought me for my birthday

Raaaachhhhelllll - alive again says:
do u know what he bought??

Raaaachhhhelllll - alive again says:
a wig!!

Raaaachhhhelllll - alive again says:
i dunno what he was thinking

Raaaachhhhelllll - alive again says:
he must be crazy!

Raaaachhhhelllll - alive again says:
i'm afraid of wigs

Raaaachhhhelllll - alive again says:
and yet he bought me a wig

Raaaachhhhelllll - alive again says:
after 2 yrs plus with me, he still doesn't know what i like or dislike

Raaaachhhhelllll - alive again says:
sigh! i'm juz so shocked and disappointed

LaiKuan says:
dun be like that la...

LaiKuan says:
i think he purposely do that

Raaaachhhhelllll - alive again says:
he did it on purpose even worse

Raaaachhhhelllll - alive again says:
he knows i'm scared of wigs yet he still bought it

Raaaachhhhelllll - alive again says:
i dunno what his intentions are

Raaaachhhhelllll - alive again says:
i juz feel like crying now cuz i'm afraid of the wig

LaiKuan says:
hahha

LaiKuan says:
my god

LaiKuan says:
u should tell him

Raaaachhhhelllll - alive again says:
he's in his friend's room now

LaiKuan says:
where r u now

Raaaachhhhelllll - alive again says:
guys are juz plain stupid

Raaaachhhhelllll - alive again says:
i'm in his house

Raaaachhhhelllll - alive again says:
cuz he said he's got my birthday present for me

Raaaachhhhelllll - alive again says:
so that's why i waited in his house till he finished work at 1am

Raaaachhhhelllll - alive again says:
and all the anticipation just for a wig which i fear

LaiKuan says:
my god

LaiKuan says:
tell him about it

LaiKuan says:
aiyooo

LaiKuan says:
y he buy u a wig

LaiKuan says:
i also scared

Raaaachhhhelllll - alive again says:
u scared of wigs too?

LaiKuan says:
yes

Raaaachhhhelllll - alive again says:
even if he doesn't know what i like, at least buy me something practical i could use...

Raaaachhhhelllll - alive again says:
like bag, wallet, perfume, etc

LaiKuan says:
ya lo

Raaaachhhhelllll - alive again says:
why a wig??!!! i juz dun understand!!

After two years plus of being together, he still is totally clueless of what I like, want, need, etc. Sigh! Does he even know me at all? Does he understand me at all? Does he care enough to know details about me? I'm just utterly disappointed & crushed to discover this fact about us. Lord, what am I to do? Do I break up with him or continue with this madness? Is this a sign You are giving me to tell me he's not the right one for me?

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Thursday, April 19, 2007 ~ 11:49 PM

My birthday celebration!

So my Gideons colleagues (and some ex-colleagues) wanted to celebrate my birthday with me for me. Hehe! So we went (five of us) to Curve, Damansara in a Gideons company car. Hahaha! There were Shyang Li, Hidayah, Leslie, and Lip Kee. Shyang Li and Lip Kee are my ex-colleagues in Gideons.

Before we grouped in Gideons, Kelana Jaya, I went to pick up Shyang Li from her office, Cartrade (which is just alongside the Federal highway). Before she hopped aboard my cute Kelisa, I decided to camwhore abit first. Hehehehe!

We had dinner at a place I picked, which was Sakae Sushi @ Curve. Before we went into the restaurant, we camwhored abit first for memories.

The lovelies - Me, Hid & Shyang Li

She looks so lovely & adorable!

Salmon sashimi anyone?! =)

Hid with her noodles

All smiles from Shyang Li & Leslie for the camera gal - ME! =)

Me doin' my silly pose by the FlyFM ride

My second attempt at posing silly :P

And suddenly I dunno how to pose anymore! Poor rigid me!

After dinner, we took some more pics outside Sakae Sushi with Leslie's new Sony Cybershot digicam. And we all left for home cuz we still needed to work tomorrow after all! =) God bless!

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Birthday greets via sms

1. Happy birthday 2 my damn hot gf! - Kevin, April 19th, 2007 @ 12.08am

2. Hello! The date of 19th seems familiar, then struck me it's ur bday! So Happy 26th Birthday girl! wowwee, how time flies ain't it? Let's really catch up soon ok - Randi Chiah, April 19th, 2007 @ 12.17am

3. Wishing you, Rachel, a very happy and eventful birthday. Love from Daddy. - Daddy, April 19th, 2007 @ 6.00am

4. Bless birthday Yee Kah Jie. May all things go your way and may this year bring you better health and wealth. God bless. - Esther Toh, April 19th, 2007 @ 7.52am

5. Hi Rachel, happy birthday to you.. Wish u all the best.. - Beverly Lee, April 19th, 2007 @ 8.35am

6. Hey girl morning, happy birthday 2 u ya! Wish u all da best n enjoy wif ur love one. - Christine Lee, April 19th 2007 @ 8.59am

7. Good morning! Wish u happy birthday and may ur wish comes true e.g. Get a good job! Take care! - Anonymous (016-307 2633), April 19th, 2007 @ 9.07am

8. Happy birthday, have a nice day! - Sumathi, April 19th, 2007 @ 9.15am

9. Happy birthday my friend! C ya tmr! - Ivy Tan, April 19th, 2007 @ 10.04am

10. Happy birthday!!! May ur wish come true ya. - Yit Wei, April 19th, 2007 @ 11.13am

11. Happy Birthday! May u be blessed with much joy, happiness and wisdom in the years to come. Have a good one. God bless - Wong Lip Kee, April 19th, 2007 @ 11.30am

12. Hey! It's me 2 wish u a very Happy Birthday! Hope ur special day is filled with d same kinda joy that ur friendship brings 2 me. - Yee Wei, April 19th, 2007 @ 12.24pm (a picture message of Kero kero keropi frog & some Chinese characters)

13. Happy Birthday, Rachel! Hope u have a great day and wonderful lunch and dinner. One more year older and wiser. Cheers! Mom - Mommy, April 19th, 2007 @ 12.48pm

14. Happy birthday! I got no time 2 bring ur present home, so I will give it to u after work. Hope u don't mind. Happy birthday damn hot chick! - Kevin, April 19th, 2007 @ 2.03pm

15. Veels geluk met jou veraasdag... Mag die here jou sein met n goie jaar! Met liefde Kaz x x x - Kaz Campbell, April 19th, 2007 @ 2.34pm (my birthday greet in Afrikaans)

16. Happy birthday! - Ruoh Tyi, April 19th, 2007 @ 4.59pm

17. Happy belated birthday to you! Wish all your dreams come true and happy always. So I see you tonight? Have a good day. - Fung Ying, April 20th, 2007 @ 9.29am

18. Yesterday was ur birthday right? Haha. Happy belated birthday! - Tai Suck Cing, April 20th, 2007 @ 10.28am

19. Wei leng lui HAPPY BIRTHDAY to u, sorry abt last nite.. really can't make it.. dun be mad.. - Lai Kuan, April 21st, 2007 @ 1.05pm

20. Hapi belated birthday gal. I know I'm super late but I wish ya lotsa of lucks in tis year and always hapi. Hope you have all things u wish for or getting soon! Hapi belated birthday gal. - Mille Tan, April 22nd, 2007 @2.27pm

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Wednesday, April 18, 2007 ~ 10:55 PM

Banana leaf lunch

I received an sms from Digi two days ago, informing me that I had won two invites to Good Charlotte's concert on 21st April 2007 (this coming Saturday). And that I had to collect the tickets from Berjaya Times Square's Digi Centre on 17-18th April 2007 from 11am-6pm.

On Monday, when I watched Wild Hogs in TGV 1Utama with Sharon, I got the Digi's sms. I asked Sharon if she seriously wanted to go for Good Charlotte's gig and she said not really. I said me not really either (I'm still claustrophobic, y'know!) So I didn't collect it on 17th April. Oh ya, BTW, I won the Wild Hogs preview movie tickets from Jobstreet. I had two tickets. Since I knew Kevin would be working, I asked Esther instead. But I got turned down cuz Esther didn't wanna head home too late after the movie. So I asked Sharon la. Luckily, she was sporting enough to leave her kiddo, Jamie behind to come watch with me.

So as I was saying, I didn't collect those Good Charlotte's tickets cuz Sharon and I had already had a talk about it and we weren't serious about going. But then Sharon called me in the evening of April 17th, 2007, asking if I had collected the tickets. Sigh! So that was why I was in Times Square on April 18th. I checked on the Digi website... apparently, the first 1000 Digi Fu-yoh subscribers to collect GC ticket would get VIP passes. Fu-yoh is Digi's latest marketing stint. I juz didn't know my company line was under Fu-yoh but it was all good =) Oh yea, and one more thing, the first 50 ppl with VIP passes & the GC T-shirt would get to meet up with the band. Yay! =)

Where I parked my car... just in case cuz I am not familiar with Times Square

After that, I joined Shyang Li for lunch. She suggested banana leaf rice. So we went to Krishna Curry House for our banana leaf rice. Since Shyang Li was using her hand to eat, I followed suit. This was my first time eating with my hand in public. Haha! When I was small (like 7 or 8 years old), I used to eat with my hand once in awhile and I alwiz got scolding from my grandmother instead. Haha. So now after so many years, I was doing it again! :P But it was a good experience of a different culture =)

Me in my car while waiting for Shyang Li outside her office

My right hand in my food

Voila! Hand in my mouth =)

My GC passes and T-shirt make me a happy camper =)

A close-up on the goodies =)

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Friday, April 13, 2007 ~ 9:57 PM

Friday the 13th!

Okay, so my boss found out about my blog's existence and he's known it for like 3 months and counting already. That still doesn't, shouldn't, couldn't and wouldn't stop me from camwhoring :P Hehehe! So this was my Friday the 13th! God bless! =)

Posing in my car at work

Posing in Kev's room by the mirror and that's my closet (in blue)

Taken thru the mirror. This is actually my reflection... Cool eh? :P

This too!

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